There is really no panic like that of a mother. It sounds so cliche and overstated, but the love and protection I feel for my children is not of this world, and I know other moms feel this same thing. I remember very well the first time I held Anna, my first, after she was born. I felt so many emotions all at once. The first thing I remember distinctly is thinking, “I now know what love is.” Not just the kind of love where you say it and the other person says it back because you’re supposed to, the kind of love that overwhelms you entirely and is uncontrollable and unconditional. And then I remember feeling scared of feeling that way. I thought of all the times my siblings and I probably gave my mother a near-heart attack when we were kids. Poor mom.
This kind of love can make you insane with rage and panic, I can’t deny that. Which leads me to a personal Mom Panic Moment (MPM) I had the other morning. I woke up, brushed my teeth and got the kids’ breakfast ready as I usually do on a weekday morning. I went into my daughter’s room to wake her up to eat and get ready for school, when I noticed she wasn’t in her bed. I flipped the light on, pulled the covers back and started repeating her name over and over, gradually becoming louder and louder. Then I thought she must’ve gone into Dresden’s room or something, since they liked to bother one another in the morning (probably not a normal sibling thing, right?). Nope. Not in Dresden’s room. WHAT. IS. GOING. ON. I ran to the living room hoping I would see them in their “jamz” on the couch but no such luck.
Before my body started rejecting all of my organs and shut down completely, I realized they were at their dad’s. They stayed the night with their dad. Of course. It was Thursday morning and they’re always at their dad’s mid-week. That was literally 45 seconds of sheer terror and panic for nothing. I suppose the point is, there are times your kids will probably put themselves in situations that suck for us parents, and then there are times when you will freak out for absolutely no reason at all. #Adulting #AmIDoingThisRight