Ok, I am going to come out and say it. This bridezilla stigma — it needs to stop.

Every time someone asks me, “How’s the wedding planning going?” they always ask with a sympathetic expression that says, “It’s okay if you’re a bit crazy, I’m sure Ryan will still love you after all of this.”

It. is. the. worst. look. ever. Like, really. How did the idea of bridezilla even happen? And why do all brides get immediately pinned that they’re going to turn into a giant lizard with a veil?

The worst part about all of this though, is that I’m actually not a bridezilla. AT ALL. Seriously, even my fiance, my parents and future in-laws will vouch for that one.

So, if you are getting married, planning on getting married or secretly planning your wedding through your Pinterest boards, I want to give you some tips that have helped me avoid becoming the dreaded bridezilla.

1. Be confident

Please, please, please don’t confide in your eight bridesmaids, your mom, your mother-in-law and three of your women co-workers about table arrangements (or anything else, really). Make a decision, stick with it and be confident about it. First of all, this is your day, so you get what you want. Second of all, if you start confiding in 13 other people, you are going to get 13 more opinions. So don’t get swayed one way or the other, just go with your gut.

2. Find ways you can save money

Begin pinpointing what’s important in your planning and what’s not. Then figure out if it’s worth splurging on or if it’s better to find the inexpensive version. If you plan this way, you could save some money and/or help with other unexpected expenses. And also remember, you need to to be able to live after the festivities end, so don’t go overboard.

3. It won’t be perfect

Maybe you’ve heard the song “Nobody’s Perfect” by former Disney star Miley Cyrus. Well, even though she is a bit of a “wrecking ball” she got one thing right and really, nobody is perfect. And your wedding won’t be either. Now, I’m not saying go into it expecting the worst, but be prepared that something or someone could mess things up. AND BE OKAY WITH THAT! Your job is to get married, so if you said “I do” then your job is complete and it’s time to have fun. But do understand this: anytime you host a party, it will not be perfect. 

4. Dress Shopping

Dress shopping is a whole article in itself, but when you go, here are a few things that helped me pick out my dress.

  • Eat before. Do not skip breakfast or lunch because you don’t want to be bloated or have water weight, etc. Eat a clean meal something you will eat on the day of your wedding. Plus, you don’t want to be hangry. No one likes being hangry.
  • Have an open mind. We all have our likes and dislikes, so do a little research before, figure out what you would like, then start looking around. Don’t set your sights on one specific dress. Chances are, you might not like it once it’s on anyway. Go in with an open mind and be kind to the people helping you. Doing so will result in a much more pleasant experience.  
  • Don’t rush into anything. Really. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t find the perfect dress the first time you shop or even the second. Be patient and you will find the right one. And when you do find it, you will know!

5. Remember why you are getting married

Most importantly, remember why you are standing up in front of family and friends and saying “I do.” Whoever is standing across from you is your best friend, your soul mate and the one you are in love with. Don’t lose sight of that during the stresses and craziness of wedding planning. Marriage lasts a lifetime and when you look back, you don’t want to remember how much of a bridezilla you were, you want to remember how easy and pleasant it was to marry your best friend. 

Anyone else out there planning a wedding right now? How’s it going? Moms, dads, married people: how did you avoid becoming a bridezilla?