The other night my 10-year-old daughter was showing me a poem she had written on her school iPad along with some stories she had started. She asked me what she should write about and I half-jokingly asked her if she would like to write something for Wenatchee Mom Blog. She thought that was a great idea and asked what the subject should be. I told her to write about what kids would want their parents to know from their point of view. Her dad suggested the title, “I’m just a kid!”
Here is what she came up with in just five minutes:
Have you ever wondered what your child is thinking? Or why they come up with excuses? Or maybe what your child’s point of view is? Well, here are some tips to help you understand more what your child is thinking.
Have you ever wondered why your child doesn’t like doing their chores? Well, it’s because they might feel overwhelmed about something, or maybe they are right in the middle of doing something important to them, or of course they just don’t want to.
Has your child ever asked “why” and you say “don’t ask why, just do it”, and then they run off? Well, that is because you yelled or raised your voice at them, and when you do that, it kind of frightens them because they aren’t that used to hearing yelling.
Has your child been a little quiet lately? That reason is because your child probably has a lot on his/her mind. They could be thinking about school, or daily activities they do, or going to a friend’s house, or even all the homework they might have. Stressing out about all of this activates your child’s stress hormones and can cause headaches and even migraines! So just try to get stuff off of their mind by doing something they like with them. That way, they won’t be as stressed out.
Even if some of these tips don’t work as well on your children, sometimes you just have to be patient and work with them, even if it may take some time. But eventually, they will give in and do as asked.
Notes to self:
- Remember to try to understand where my daughter is coming from, not just judge her outward actions.
- Remember to let my daughter know that I value what’s important to her.
- Know that I have a tween who is a bit prone to drama and has certainly heard my “outside voice.” Many times.
- Being a kid is hard work. Be her biggest cheerleader.
- Those migraines. Extra hugs required.
I’ve always told my daughter that she can talk to me about anything. And I mean it. But am I really listening? Those conversations don’t always start with an introduction like “Hey Mom, remember when you said I could talk to you about anything?” Sometimes those conversations start with a pre-teen running to her room and slamming the door over something silly. I need to listen with my ears, my brain, my feelings, my gut, and especially my heart. Being a mom is hard work.